“And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?” 1 Nephi 17:51

It’s 10:51pm and I’ve been sitting in front of this computer for 30 minutes, trying to write my post. I’ve actually tried to write it all week, but my head and my heart have been taken over by my worry, and there’s just no more room for words.

My husband lost his job due to downsizing last December (Merry Christmas!). This week he returned on Monday night from a final round of interviewing for a position he has been recruited for.  As soon as he started talking about the interviews, the clouds of worry began gathering. They have hung over me all week, waiting for the impending storm of today’s call, when the company offered him the position.  It’s a good thing. Yes. Maybe. I’m not actually sure. I guess it’s always good to be offered a job (especially if you don’t have one!) But the implications for me personally are deep and seem drastic. Tonight I am consumed with what I will lose if we move, and with a fuzzy future, I cannot see the possible gains.

In our 16 years of marriage, we have been taking turns with our locations: Utah for him to finish the accounting program; Massachusetts for my Ph.D.; Arizona for his job; and back to Utah for my career, my family, my mountains. But we just got here. It’s still my turn.

So this weekend we need to decide if we will take this job. Now we pray and we hope Heavenly Father will personally give us an answer, and soon. I am hoping He decides for us. If we move, it will be difficult for me and I will need to be sure of Heavenly Father’s will and therefore His support. If we stay, it will be a different difficult, and I will need to be sure of Heavenly Father’s will and therefore His support. If Heavenly Father told Nephi how to build a ship, He can tell us the direction in which we need to walk.

So, there you have it. My weak post for tonight–nothing profound, insightful, or particularly spiritual is coming from me in my present state. So I am turning to you for the profound, insightful, or spiritual. Or even just a word or two of comfort. . . .