“You’re doing what?” Chad asked.

“Counseling,” I repeated. “I’ve always wanted to go.”

Plus, at the price of “free,” why not? In the month between the first year of grad school and the start of my internship in Omaha, I had some flexibility in my schedule, and I decided to finally take the plunge and sign up for the university’s free counseling sessions. Growing up, I had seen first-hand how much counseling had helped one of my sisters and wanted to have a sounding board for my fears and frustrations. I felt a bit guilty taking up a spot that could go to someone in desperate need, but with it being spring term and fewer students on-campus requesting the service, I figured it was as good a time as any to start.

My husband had a hard time understanding why I would want to go when I wasn’t suffering a psychotic break or a personality disorder. He wondered whether he had done something wrong and asked if there was something I felt uncomfortable telling him. I tried to explain the appeal of a impartial third party who could just listen and help me sort through my thoughts. Not quite comprehending yet still supportive, he wished me the best.

After my first session, Chad followed up and asked me how it went: “Was it helpful?”

“Yes. I’m excited to go next week.”

“Wait, you’re going again? Did something go wrong?”

I laughed and explained that counseling is structured to be done over several sessions, if not indefinitely. It wasn’t like a doctor’s appointment where you were diagnosed, given a prescription, and sent on your way.

I went back for another session, and then two more after that. It’s only been a month and, while I can’t say counseling has been life-altering so far, I have enjoyed the experience and have benefitted from the conversations in that small room. I know that the crux of counseling involves digging into motivations and the tensions you’re experiencing, whether internally or externally. To be frank, though, counseling makes me feel selfish. Talking about myself for an extended period of time prompts uneasiness, as if it’s inappropriate to devote so much time to what I think and what I want. I’m not sure whether I’m alone in this feeling of self-absorption. Whatever the emotional recoil, however, the process has helped me become more cognizant of what prompts my actions and how I should consider others’ actions beyond face value.

If counseling is available to you and within your financial ability, I whole-heartedly endorse it. Rather than just a last resort for people on the cusp of disaster, counseling can be useful at any stage of life or point of a relationship. At the very least, it’s nice to have someone who’ll just listen without judging or offering unsolicited advice.

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Have you ever participated in counseling? What was your experience?