Today's blog post might seem controversial, but I post it because I feel like it needs to be mentioned. The scriptures give us great counsel for how to handle life's issues, but they might also seem contradictory one with another. Take for example the counsel that contention is of the devil:
For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. (3 Nephi 11:29).
I think we can all agree on that one.It is pretty straightforward with it's warning. But to clarify, let's look at the dictionary definition of contention:
1. heated disagreement.
2. an assertion, especially one maintained in argument
Okay, so we have the groundwork laid out for what contention is based on the scripture and the definition. Need one more? How about this General Conference talk from an apostle of the Lord: here.
Another example, which we hear over and over and over is the Savior's injunction to "...love one another". There is not addition here, just plain and to the point - love one another. I think we can also agree on that one.
One more and then I'll get to the crux of the post. In the scriptures, we are counseled to fight for what is right.The first thing that popped into my head was the Hymn "Let Us All Press On":
Let us all press on in the work of the Lord,
That when life is o’er we may gain a reward;
In the fight for right let us wield a sword,
The mighty sword of truth.
Chorus.
Fear not, though the enemy deride,
Courage, for the Lord is on our side;
We will heed not what the wicked may say,
But the Lord alone we will obey.
We will not retreat, though our numbers may be few,
When compared with the opposite host in view;
But an unseen power will aid me and you
In the glorious cause of truth.
If we do what’s right we have no need to fear,
For the Lord, our helper will ever be near;
In the days of trial His saints He will cheer,
And prosper the cause of truth.
And to turn to the scriptures:
...And speak freely to all; yea, preach, exhort, declare the truth, even with a loud voice... (D&C 19:37)
Last, from the mouth of the prophets, this General Conference talk by our Prophet: here
I don't think we can dispute those words. We are living in perilous times and the tenets of our faith are being challenged from all fronts. We must stand for what we believe, I agree. But.... the question lies:
HOW can we be both diligent in standing for our beliefs and not causing contention?
The internet and more pointedly, social media is a breeding ground for contentions. The fresh example I give is from Facebook and a local newspaper. They are very studious in posting current news stories, and the commentary from those news stories generate a ton of contentious commentary. Hatred spews, the "bigot" and/or "cult" words echo the commentary from those that (to me) seek to raise contention.
Is the mews media, or even social media the blame for this? I say partially. I have witnessed posts by news media and the very wording used in the title seems like they are fishing for controversy and contention.
Indeed, people use the social media platform as their soapbox. It is their God-given right to allow freedom of speech. But at what cost? We are not to judge others. We all know that. But we all judge. For example, say someone wants to friend you on Facebook or connect with you on other social media outlets. The first thing I do is to look at who they are friends with. Do I associate with them? The next thing I look at are what posts they have posted. If the majority of posts are of political nature or anti-this or that, I will not friend them. I judged them based on what I have seen them post before and who they associate with. Is this wrong? Maybe, maybe not. And I would venture a guess that we all do this to one extent or another.
If one would look at my posts, they would see the majority of them talking about our religion, family, and music - all my loves. If they do not want to associate with me based on what I lean toward, that is certainly their prerogative.
So, how can we be both diligent and not cause contention? The following are my examples which I currently try to follow, or am instituting; they may not necessarily match yours:
- It's all in the delivery. I've mentioned this many times before, but if people would read what they write before sending off the message, there would be a lot less contention. The way one says something (as in the example of the news media and their titles) can be softened. Having said that, there will always be dis-tractors - those that will look for any way to get their jabs in; to spark controversy, to spew hatred. If we do our due diligence, then we should not feel bad about out posts, comments, likes, etc.
- Ask yourself honestly, "Does this issue personally affect me?", Is it something that could affect, or jeopardize your personal salvation? Is my comment something that will add or detract from the issue?To answer these questions, is a personal thing. But having gone through this exercise, it could soften hearts before contentions arise.
- I stand by the statement by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that I do not check my religion in at the door. I strive to live my religion every waking hour. But picking and choosing battles should be done very carefully. Sometimes saying nothing at all is better than saying it and regretting it later. A testimony is personal. It should be shared often. No one can take your testimony away from you. They can disagree, but that's it. A testimony should never be contentious. A testimony is from the heart.
- Agreeing to disagree will net more respect and keep friendships than continually trying to get the last word, or "one up" the other. This is why Bible bashing; or giving one scripture in retaliation for another scripture is never a good idea. There are many things which I have strong opinion on, but do not share them because I know it will stir up contention.
- I would rather read 1000 posts on what someone had for dinner than one post on a hot current issue. It is less confrontational and opens the door for friendly banter, and even a recipe exchange. Food is always good. :)
- Prayer is always a good idea to talk about current issues. Personal prayers, pleading with our Father in Heaven for the welfare of our nation, individuals, and issues will help. In the scriptures, Father Lehi, once he tasted of the fruit of the tree, he looked about to see where his family was. He desired they all partake of the fruit. He pleaded with the Father to soften their hearts that they would want to. The key is, he went to his Father in Heaven in prayer on behalf of others. We can do that with the current woes of life. I can testify that He does hear every prayer offered in righteousness.
We can be both diligent in the gospel of Jesus Christ and not be contentious. It is up to us to how we want to portray ourselves to others . It is up to us how we want to perceive others. It is up to us to know who we want to emulate and follow; to be of one who spreads contention, or to be the peaceable followers of Jesus Christ.
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