Loss: noun: failure to keep or to continue to have something

: the experience of having something taken from you or destroyed

Grief: noun: deep sadness caused especially by someone’s death

: a cause of deep sadness

: trouble or annoyance

There is no dictionary-wrapped definition which fully conveys or explains loss or grief. For all who have lost, who have mourned, who have been wracked by pain, every ache and stab, every fresh realisation and memory is a unique, isolating event. For those who stand near or beside those who have lost and grieve, there is so much pain to bear witness to, let alone wade through to be with those we love.

We all know the echo of empty words, the stinging reassurances that “[insert fatuous/well-meaning/faithful/condescending/hopeful/comfort-intending phrase here]”. But what is there to say or do when sorrow drags us to the floor, or leaves us standing distant from the mourner, unsure of what would be best?

Melissa Dalton-Bradford’s second and latest book, On Loss and Living Onward, is a balm to the grieving heart, the sodden eyes of – as the subtitle shares – ‘for the grieving and those who would mourn with them’. Melissa begins chapters with experiences from her own journey with loss, following the death of her eldest son Parker. Then there are quotes, excerpts, poems and scriptures in collections: ‘Life at death’, ‘Love at death’, ‘Living after death’, ‘Learning from death’, and ‘Light, love, and life over death’.

Dolorifuge: noun: something that cures or alleviates grief.

On Loss and Living Onward is a gift, born from the ashes of tragedy, shared with wide-open heart, grace, elegance and honesty. I cried repeatedly through its pages, not only from the beauty and comfort I found, but also in remembering those I had lost, the depth of my own grief, and the knotted pain and hope that comes with living onward. On Loss and Living Onward was cathartic, a wash of warmth, a hug of encouragement that those who mourn can survive, can share their pain with others who care they have fallen into an abyss, that others can or will climb out of the chaos with them, or simply sit and love in silence.

I whole-heartedly recommend Melissa Dalton-Bradford’s On Loss and Living Onward for those who are grieved, and for those one bruised heart removed from the trauma and mourning, who want to know how best to catch the broken pieces of their loved ones. On Loss and Living Onward was released yesterday, and is available here.