As positive as we can be with life, sometimes things happen that test our faith or make us question why. I have blogged about adversity and trials before but I would to talk about how WE can perhaps help others in this process.

In the place called Mormon, Alma gave one of his great sermons regarding baptism. But it was the phrase used in Mosiah 18:9 that got me thinking about the process of mourning:

We all mourn at least one time in our lives; be it the passing of a dear friend, family member, or even parents. We can, and do mourn because of our lot in life; our employment, our future, etc. Generally, men tend to bottle up their emotions and keep those things to themselves while women seem to be more open. This is not a result of scientific research, but merely an observation I made when I held those positions in the gospel.

What would happen if your best friend decided to open up to you their griefs, discouragements, and trials? What would you say other than "I'm sorry" or give them the quiet nod while saying nothing at all? How can we help others in their mourning process? Here are a few ideas that popped into my head.

We can have sympathy and empathy for others. Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone when they are in a situation that is less-than positive. Sympathy can be as simple as a reassuring, "I'm sorry" statement. Empathy is an actual understanding that comes from the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Empathy can also be found if you, yourself have gone through similar trials. You can much better relate to them and can share with them what you have done to overcome your trials. Both sympathy and empathy are divine attributes to possess.

We can certainly pray for those whom we have love and concern over. Prayer is the conduit between our Father in Heaven and the Holy Spirit and us. I have found many times throughout my life that when I was approached for counsel; whether it was in the role of husband, father, home teacher, or Elder's Quorum President, I always said a silent prayer to enlist the aid of the Holy Ghost to help me understand and to say the right things, and then I opened my mouth. When we do this, we are the mouthpiece for the inspiration that The Lord wishes to impart. I have found this especially true when pronouncing Priesthood blessings. With the silent prayer said, then hands laid upon heads, I cannot remember what the words were said, but I remember the tears of appreciation streaming down the faces of those whom the blessing was pronounced, thanking me for the words that they needed to hear. 

If you feel inspired to tell the person something to the effect of, "If there is anything I can do, I'm there for you", make sure you mean what you say and will do what you say. True friendship is built upon trust and commitments. If you promise to do something, but don't do it - you may have lost a valuable piece of your friendship - trust. After all, it was them that approached you looking for advice. They would not do that unless there is some sort of trust to begin with. I feel humbled when friends approach me for help. It mean that I mean something to them. 

Everyone needs time on their own to digest the counsel given or to approach The Lord in prayer. It is their time to come to grips with their trials and to start the healing process. What can we do during this alone time? We can continue to pray for them. We can let them know that we honestly care about them, and if they need to talk more, they can do so. 

We can and do mourn for others. Just today, I read that a missionary in Malasia died while riding his bike. I mourn for him, I mourn for our world and the state that it is in. But to bring this full circle, we have to have the desire to mourn for others as the scripture said. Our Father in Heaven and our Savior mourn for each of us when we are faced with trials. They are willing to share in the mourning process by having sympathy and empathy for us. They are always there waiting for us to "cast our burdens upon The Lord" through prayer. And they are always there to help lift us. But sometimes, it may seem like the heavens are shut; that our prayers are not being answered, that our trials persist. Even our Eternal Father in Heaven gave His only begotten Son alone time to work out things on His own. Perhaps this alone time can be thought of as a microcosm of what our Savior felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. Our Father in Heaven loves us so very much that He gave His Son to go through the mortal torments and torture that He had to endure. The ridiculing, mocking, the scourging, the nails piercing his hands and feet. All of His pains He went through because He loves His Father in Heaven and desired to fulfill His earthly mission - all - for us.