Even though many of my posts are uplifting and happy, I need to talk about a dark time in my spiritual life. That is the time when I decided that I no longer needed the church in my life. I don't remember specifics, but I seem to remember how it happened. I was a pretty active member of the church. I had a calling in the church, I sang with the Ward choir, and was a decent husband with a young family. Life seemed good. And then it happened:

The one Sunday, I decided that I needed a vacation from church. I don't recall if it was because I needed to go somewhere, a busy week at work that I just needed to unwind, or just needed a spiritual stay cation, but I didn't go to church. One Sunday missed does not make a person "Inactive" on the records of the church. The unofficial number is 3 Sundays missed our of a month or more than 50% of a month missed. In any event, it takes just one Sunday missed to start to process.

That one Sunday missed turned into another and another until I was, indeed missing more than 50% of my Sundays in a month. I became Inactive.

Looking back at those time(s) - yes, there were multiple times before in my life. I remember a common theme. I had not been contacted by anyone from the church. No Bishop, no one. I guess I assumed that because he was bishop, he was too busy to care for every member in the Ward. That and there were others in the Ward that took his time and energies. But the fact was the Graham family was off the radar of the church. The blip was still there, albeit very weak. But there was no contact, which made it more "convenient" to justify not going to church.

So, at first it was me that decided not to go to church, and with no contact it became them that I used as a crutch. After all, I still had a testimony of the gospel even if it was waning because of lack of fellowship with fellow Saints. The no contact lasted almost 2 years or more.

I remember the one day I received a knock at the door. It was from a guy at church who I became very close to. He announced he was my new assigned Home Teacher. Ok, churchy stuff, but he was my best friend. So, I welcomed him in. I remember those early visits by him. There was nothing at all "churchy" mentioned. We talked about fishing, hiking, some sports and other basic non-threatening things. This occurred month after month. Occasionally, he would mention of some Ward activity coming up but that's about it. 

Our friendship grew even more as he came every month. It was good to see him come and visit with us. The trust between us grew stronger, and the brotherly love grew too. All in non-threatening, non churchy environment. Then, after what seemed to be years, he asked the question:

The question. The churchy question that I have grown accustomed to not hearing. It was asked by a loving, concerned friend. A friend who turned out to be my true under shepherd. My Home Teacher.

I have been less active for so long that I really didn't remember why. But for me, that's all it took. A lovingly, pointed question asked obviously asked upon a prompting by a loving home teacher who knew I had been prepared to be teachable at that moment. I had no real words of why, just that I was. I accepted his invitation to come to a Ward activity.

The activity was fun. The family had a good time. People came up to us and welcomed us. People, I remember later as the primary president for the kids, the relief society president for my wife, and the elders quorum president for me. It felt awkward at first, but reassuring with so many people coming to greet us and welcome us. In retrospect, every one of those, I would also consider shepherds. It felt really good to be welcomed and I felt that peace and spirit once again.

I started coming back to church. I felt loved and wanted. It was wonderful, once again to sing the hymns of Zion, singing in the Ward Choir, and more importantly partaking of the sacrament. It was a slow process, but it was progress. The family got reacquainted with friend, made new friends and embraced the gospel and the messages in Primary, Relief Society, and Elder's Quorum. My faithful home teacher, the one who shepherded me back into activity was eventually called as the Elder's Quorum President, and I was called to be 2nd Counselor for him. This was the beginning of a new chapter in my life - eventually, I was called to be Elder's Quorum President, my wife was called as Relief Society Secretary and the kids had callings in their respective quorum and class. And since that time, we have not been considered less active.

So, why do I bring this up? I have learned a few things along the way that, to some they may be obvious, but to some it is my hope that it is the vehicle to reactivation. Specifically: