My oldest daughter graduates from high school in less than a month. As it gets closer my excitement over the grand possibilities of her life transform into a myriad of fears. For more than 18 years I have been responsible for her safety and well-being and now I am stepping back, and it feels like there’s a cliff behind me.

This is adult parenting, not just that I’m learning to parent an adult daughter, but that I need to act like an adult to parent! Being honest with myself about what is going on between us, what baggage I’m bringing into it from my past and hers, and what her future could be like (the trials mentioned in her patriarchal blessing didn’t comfort me) has made this a difficult few months. It feels as though our relationship is going through growing pains. I miss my friend as she pushes away to find independence. I fear that as she gets out in the world she’ll look back and see all of my flaws and not want to come back. I worry for her safety and success in a world that is so cruel and unfair.

Looking into the future I need a better idea of how this is going to work out. Right now I have negative pictures in my mind, can you help me replace them with positive futures?

Tell me how your parents handled your transition to adulthood, what was good for you and what could they have done better?

If you have adult children how did this process go for you? Would you do anything differently looking back?