I’m teaching writing this semester, and since it’s my first semester teaching at LDSBC, I’ve been borrowing a lot of material from my colleagues. On Thursday, I spent my lunch hour rereading David A. Bednar’s classic talk “The Tender Mercies of the Lord” (which is actually an excellent example of a concept paper, in case you were wondering). As I read, I was struck by the idea that Elder Bednar could talk about the tender mercies in his life because he made an effort to recognize them. I also realized that I usually go through life with my head down and my nose to the grindstone and probably ignore many of the ways that the Lord works in my life.
On Friday morning, I got a text at 4am. My grandpa, who had been in hospice care since August, was gone. And while I will appreciate your “I’m sorry”s, he was in his eighties and ready to go. But his death has been a chance for me to see the tender mercies of the Lord at work in my family over the last few days.
My grandpa lived in Panama City Beach, Florida, where he was the Taco Bell king of the Florida panhandle. For the first eighty years of his life, he was healthy and strong and made and lost fortunes many times over. He had six children and then helped raise three stepkids. He loved nothing more than a bowl of chocolate ice cream, a Cuban cigar, a good hand of poker, or helping out someone who worked hard but needed a hand. As his health failed over the last two years, he had two goals he wanted to accomplish– he wanted to host a family reunion in his hometown, and he wanted to celebrate his 30th wedding anniversary with his wife, Jean (he thought this was only fitting since he’d been married to my grandma for almost exactly 30 years before their divorce).
The reunion and the anniversary both happened in August, and within days, Grandpa was in the hospital. We knew the end was near, so many of us were happy we’d made the effort to gather in Florida. That’s three tender mercies in two sentences.
Jean was a lifelong Catholic– the kind who never misses a mass on Sunday and often heads to church on weekdays too. Grandpa wasn’t raised on religion and didn’t bring his kids up in a church either. But a month ago, he joined Jean in her faith and was baptized into the Catholic Church. I’m sure it’s a comfort to her this week and shows me that even though the “tender mercies” scripture can be found in 1 Nephi, Mormons don’t have a corner on the market of the Lord showing his hand in our lives.
My brother didn’t make it to the reunion. He and his family live in Alaska, so they decided they wanted to visit Grandpa as part of a trip to Disney World, which is much less crowded and more pleasant in October than August. So they were in the air somewhere over Canada when the text with the news arrived.While they wouldn’t get to say goodbye to grandpa (who was on morphine and not really up for company anyway), they will now see the entire extended family who are coming in for the funeral. Another tender mercy.
Because my brother lives so far away, my parents had decided to meet him in Florida, so their bags were packed and their flight itineraries printed when they got the news. Instead of scrambling for last-minute bereavement fares, they were able to travel with only the weight of their grief and not the burden of extra expense. Yet another tender mercy.
Since I was in Florida a few weeks ago, I didn’t travel for the funeral, but after witnessing the many ways that the Lord has made his presence known in our family, I don’t doubt that there will be other expressions of tender mercies in the days to come.
But the thing that I’m left with is that if I hadn’t read the talk, and hadn’t reopened my eyes to the whole concept of the Lord showing himself in small and simple ways in our lives, I would have missed out on recognizing that He is watching over our little family, watching over me.
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