In this gaming era of Ninjas that slice up flying fruit and plants that fight against zombies, I have to say that I’m still partial to the game of Solitaire. I love the way it’s done or not done. It doesn’t continue for hours on end, level after level. It’s just a nice, tidy little game. As I was scrolling through the solitaire options on my phone recently I noticed a button that said “Winning Deals”. The idea being that I can adjust the number of hands that have definite solutions. I could actually make all my games be possible winners. No more getting stuck halfway through and having to start another hand.

Hmmm.

The ten-year-old in me thinks this is quite brilliant.

The forty-year-old in me wonders if it has really come to this. Have people actually gotten to the point that if we can’t win, we don’t want to play? We want our victories handed to us so we don’t have to work so hard? What’s the point of playing if we know exactly what the outcome will be? The uncertainty is what is so exciting.

My gut reaction was to think this is some sort of symptom of a generation of spoiled children and people who have been indulged too long. “What they need is a little struggle! A little bit of not knowing what’s going to happen”, I thought smugly.

Last night I was praying with my husband for an answer to a situation we’ve been struggling to find an answer for. The answer, like most times we communicate with our Father in Heaven, is not coming as soon as we’d like. We’ve been praying for months and at times our prayers have felt like they are falling on deaf ears.

I rolled over after our prayer was finished and wailed, “I’ll do whatever Heavenly Father says! I just want Him to tell me exactly what it is!”

Hmmm again.

It sounds like I want a sure thing. Why, yes, that is exactly what I want! I would like Heavenly Father to tell me each step to make so that everything works out perfectly and our family is deliriously happy. I’ve had enough of free agency lately; I just want to win!

I would love to have a little slider button in my life that I can move away from “all random” to “all winning”. Because the choices I make, even ones that I feel were correct can still end up having results that were not quite as stellar as I’d hoped.

I’ll admit that I have not wanted to play this game any more. I’m tired of it. I want to be lazy and not bother to do things that aren’t going to bring me the quick, happy results I’d like. I’m sure that things will all pan out in the Eternities, but that’s really far away.

Does that makes me one of those spoiled, overindulged children that I am so quick to dismiss? Wait, don’t answer that! I already know.

I wonder if there are angels looking down on me from above saying, “what that girl needs is a little struggle. A little bit of not knowing what’s going to happen. The uncertainty is what is so exciting!”

I’m pretty sure there are.

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