Not to discount some of the hardest trials I have ever faced in my life, but being a faithful member of the Church while also being attracted to guys really isn't impossible. Nor is it as hard or mentally trying, faith-deprecating or paradoxical as many people think it is. For most of the day, each day, it doesn't affect me. Yes, I am a male in an extremely overstimulated, oversexed society. There are times when it is incredibly hard. But even when people are trying to set me up, others unknowingly say or do something callous, I wonder when I'll ever have a family, and I'm way too attracted to the guys around me, it all subsides eventually. The sun comes out, the feelings temper, and faith, in the end, wins every battle. Even with the issue of looking toward the future - and potentially consecrating it to God instead of following my hormones - isn't all that hard today. If I'm living each day in the present, leaving the future in the Lord's hands, I have no qualms about keeping the commandments today and knowing that He will take care of tomorrow.

I'll agree that, at the same time, it does take work - it takes time, determination, persistence, and faith, but that's the same with everything in life... my life included. I have other problems which are not of this blog, and them also I must solve. I don't think that I or anyone can survive in today's world without gripping tightly to the iron rod - whether our lives look perfect from the outside, or are entrenched in chaos within.

I get a lot of emails and comments here at (Gay) Mormon Guy from guys who express the feeling that it's too hard to live a faithful life with this trial. That their faith and righteousness, keeping the commandments, and staying true to the things that they have learned from God... is impossible without somehow changing their sexual orientation. They think that if they were attracted to women, living a righteous life would be possible, whereas in their minds being attracted to guys makes it an impossibility.

I believed that once - but in my case it was because I believed, erroneously, that being attracted to guys was a curse... and since it says very clearly in the scriptures that all those who are cursed brought the cursing upon themselves, then I had somehow brought it upon myself... and its continued existence was proof of my uncleanliness before God.

I now realize the deception in that belief, and its equally deceptive counterpart on the other side of the truth. On one side, I am cursed, and will not be acceptable in the eyes of God until I change everything... which is sort of impossible. On the other side, I have no need to change, and God will accept me without asking me to change who I am. One is predestination to hell, the other is predestination to heaven. Both are completely and totally false.

The reality is that I came to this world and still had a lot to learn before I could return to God. Like happened to Adam and Eve, my life became a probationary period to change (repent) and become like Christ... and the world, and my circumstances, were cursed for my sake. Cursed for my sake. Cursed so that I could learn and grow and change to become like Christ. I was not cursed. Mortality was cursed, so that I could one day be saved.

God has the power to change anything He wills. He could change my heart, heal my wounds, and take away my trials. He could calm the tensions of the world, feed the starving children, solve the crises of nations and my own personal soul. But He doesn't. And why? Because it is for my sake. He created a fallen world so that I could grow and learn, then gave me the tools to affront every difficulty, counter every attack, and resist every trial that came my way. "There hath no temptation taken [me...] but such as is common to man... but God is faithful, and will not suffer [me] to be tempted above that which [I] am able."

God created this life to be hard. Someday, I'll even die from life being so imperfect. But living the gospel, following the promptings of the Spirit, keeping the commandments, and turning to God, have always and will always be possible and within my reach, no matter what imperfections life throws my way. Life is hard, but it's really not that hard... since the deck is stacked in our favor. The Atonement really is infinite - there is no clause that makes exception for or excludes anyone from the dual gifts of justice and mercy. Which means that God is on our side. And with Him, when we follow His commandments, all things are possible.
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