I’m gonna say it right up front: I love me some Relief Society. Always have, imagine I always will. I love the sense of sisterhood, the opportunities to have my life intertwined with others’ through the common threads of faith, joy, and sorrow. Mainly due to an outgoing nature, I’ve generally felt included and welcomed in my ward Relief Society. However, I’m keenly aware there are many sisters for whom a sense of place in Relief Society does not come so easily. There are many who do not feel connected or bound to their ward sisters. It is from these sisters that I am requesting help, help in understanding how more sisters might be invited to feel that they are a part of the sisterhood of Relief Society.

For me, more than a Sunday meeting or weeknight activity, Relief Society is relationship. It is the connection that draws my heart out toward another who is mourning or celebrating. It’s the warming comfort that makes it safe to share my own struggles and believe on the faith of others whom I trust. It is a relationship built on interest in one another’s spiritual, emotional, and temporal well-being which grows into actions of outreach, service, and love. At least, that’s the best of it.

Relief Society, in practice, is other things as well. It’s the sometimes boring or misguided lesson, the weeknight activity that can be anything but enriching to me or my household, and a stack of sign-ups for this and that. There are awkward exchanges, misapplied concern, and ill-phrased comments aplenty. If this was all I knew of Relief Society I would probably have been done with it long ago. However, I don’t view these things as Relief Society, really. I hold to my view of it as the larger, eternal relationship we have as sisters and human beings in general and, in this way, I find Relief Society to be an often sacred experience.

So here’s the thing. I’ve recently been called as an assistant secretary in my ward RS. My main responsibility will include acting as liaison to Primary, Nurseries (all three), and YW. It’s also come to my attention (and as no surprise) that many of our sisters serving in Primary feel not only cut off from RS, but have a bit of bad taste in their mouths toward RS. I’m assuming this means RS in practice, meaning the weekly meetings and such. They most likely feel left out and forgotten, and, therefore, a bit bruised. It’s understandable. This can hopefully be (somewhat) remedied by careful efforts to work with leadership in these auxiliaries to find out how they would have us include their sisters. I also plan to personally visit these auxiliaries each Sunday to make announcements and help the sisters feel included in what is happening. But there’s something more.

I don’t imagine that any of these sisters feel ill will toward the idea of Relief Society as a relationship built on responsibility for one another’s well-being. They feel left out of the practice of Relief Society for sure, but, and let’s be honest here, half the time they’re not missing a whole lot of anything earth-shattering. What they are missing (and this is just my guess) is the connection that binds them to their sisters as they feel both needed and watched over.

Sisters who sit in RS week after week are not immune to these feelings either. This tells me it’s not just about being included as a participant. It’s about something deeper. This is where my request for help comes in. I’m wondering, based on your experiences, what can be done? How do we help those who feel they are on the outside enter into a more full relationship?

I’m interested in the thoughts of those who have been in RS yet not really felt a part of things, those who serve in other auxiliaries and struggle (or have struggled) to feel connected to their ward RS at large, and those who have seen their ward sisters grow closer.

Some questions to get you started:

-What do you feel keeps you from feeling connected to your RS?
-What has helped you in the past?
-What do you wish would happen in your ward/what would make a difference for you?
-What have you seen happen that has brought a ward RS closer together?

-What does RS mean to you?

-What do you feel the purpose of RS is in your life?

-If you’re someone who really dislikes RS, what is it about RS you find off putting?  What do you wish your RS leadership would understand?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts here. It’s not that I’m worried about increasing participation in weeknight meetings or things of that nature (I think those things should be born of either simple desire to socialize or feeling that what is offered is truly worth taking time out for). My concern is helping our sisters feel unified, cared for, and the joy of being a necessary part of watch-care. So, how do we help that happen?

Related posts:

1. Weekday sisterhood and Relief Society meetings
2. The trouble with Relief Society
3. I Don’t Have a Friend