I stood idly in the coffee shop while Celia chose a bottled water and fished $2 out her purse for the cashier. We ambled back out into the mall as she popped the lid and took a long drink.
“Aren’t you thirsty?” she asked.
“Um yeah. ” I bit my lip and looked away.
“Then why didn’t you buy a drink? Michelle, look at me– what’s your deal?”
“It’s just one of my quirks,” I blushed, “I don’t buy water.”
Celia laughed, “You just paid $50 for a child’s dress and you won’t buy water when you’re thirsty? OK, I promise not to judge your ostentatious clothing habit if you forgive my extravagance in buying water.” She giggled all the way to the car.
My spunky, red-headed friend just likes to tease me, but in truth, there’s nothing like a recession to tempt us to judge each others’ spending habits:
“Wasn’t Jon laid off last year? Should he really be taking his family to Disneyland?”
“Can you believe she gets her hair highlighted every six weeks when their house is in foreclosure?”
“Old moneybags down the street just bought a new car.”
As a nation, as a world we’re hearing the conflicting messages to “save, save, save to keep your house” and “spend, spend, spend to boost the economy.” I happen to believe both. We’re working hard to pay down our mortgage but I also spend money at my favorite local restaurant, at clothing stores, the bike shop down the street. Few things warm my heart more than a thriving small business where people make a good living from honest work and ingenuity. But spending extra money when you have it and spending it when you don’t are two different issues– financial matters are the #1 cause of arguments in most marriages and are the primary bickering points in political parties. When it comes to irresponsible spending there’s plenty of blame to go around.
As Latter-Day Saints, money matters are also spiritual matters. Tithing, of course, and also the spirit of the law of consecration. Mormons take great pride in living conservatively, canning fruit and wearing mom jeans. I feel a responsibility to teach my children to save and spend responsibly. Our method is simple: my children don’t have money until they are old enough to earn it. No allowance, no payment for chores. This translates into my children having no money until they are twelve or thirteen and can mow lawns and babysit. It’s worked well for us.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can certainly ease the trials of life. It’s much easier to go on a job hunt with a full stomach and a nice suit. When my mother died this summer, our ability to buy plane tickets and flowers and take-out meals relieved a great deal of stress.
Both my sister and I have noticed more frivolous spending in ourselves since the death of my mother. There’s the sense of “you can’t take it with you” combined with the desire to spread as much kindness as we can in this life. So you’ll probably see me at the corner cafe a little more often these days, I might even buy you lunch.
But not your bottled water.
Do you feel judged for your spending choices? Do you judge others’ for theirs? How do you teach your children about money? How are your spending habits tied to your faith?
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