In my first singles ward, our bishopric held a special retreat to teach new ward members about being an active part of an adult ward. Brother Thompson used an analogy I have never forgotten. “When you’re at a potluck dinner,” he said, “the person who is assigned to bring the roast beef is someone who can always be counted on. You want to be a roast beef member.”
I have always remembered his analogy; I wish I had always lived it. When I taught Relief Society several years ago, I had to go out of town on my week. I called the other teacher and left a message on her machine asking if we could switch weeks. She left a message on mine, saying we could, and that was that. I thought.
Except I returned home to frantic answering machine messages, asking where I was and was I planning on teaching that day. No one showed up. And then I discovered that I had the calendar mixed up when I tried to change things around, and I had made a gigantic mess. I felt terrible. I made brownies for the entire Relief Society Presidency as an apology. The woman who filled in for me kept alluding to her pinch-hitting episode over the next few weeks, and I wanted to die every time she mentioned it.
My mortification came on several levels. I try to be responsible. I hate letting people down. More than that, though, I want to be … a worker of the ward. Yes, I want people to think of me as a worker of the ward. But I also want to be a worker because I want to serve the Lord. Being flaky, even unintentionally, feels to me like a betrayal of God.
The less noble result of that, though, is that my desire to avoid being flaky has, lately, meant that I don’t want to actually commit to do anything, because I’m scared I won’t do a good enough job. I look back at callings or assignments I’ve had and I am full of critiques and ideas about things I should have done better, and this makes me hesitant to take on anything new. I’m aware that I didn’t love those nursery kids as much as I should have. I know that I should have spent more time preparing primary lessons, more energy seeking out people who needed compassionate service. All my past frailties come back and yell at me, making me forget the times that I really was prompted by the Spirit to help someone in the right way.
But part of being a worker of the ward is doing just that: taking on the new assignment, even when you feel inadequate. Committing even when the territory is unfamiliar. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and forgiving others as they serve imperfectly. I want to be consistent in my service, and and also consistently merciful.
In all this, God surprises me with blessings I had not anticipated. I’m newly sustained to teach Primary music, and after just two weeks I am humbled by the joy of watching children sing. Who knew that there would be such a difference between singing in the audience with the children and standing in front of them, watching their eyes filled with light and song?
What callings have been a blessing to you? How has the Spirit helped you fulfill a challenging assignment? What do you do to keep yourself motivated to be a worker of the ward? And do you have a good roast beef recipe?
Related posts:
Continue reading at the original source →