Ros stopped by for a photo between taking her Math 130 test and going to her mammogram appointment— fun fun fun!

Rosalyn Richardson is tired of being called a saint.  She would much rather go back to life before her husband Todd drove to the store to pick up milk, was struck by a drunk driver and sent to the hospital to die. With baby Wade on her hip and four children gathered round, Ros whispered her goodbyes and shifted her vision to a very different future.

But Todd, did live through that night and the next. And despite the doctors’ dire predictions that he would never walk or talk again, Todd came home a few months later.

And this is a mixed blessing. Because although Todd walks through the home and appears capable, he is no longer the take-charge lawyer, father and husband that he was 10 years ago. He speaks fluent Spanish learned on his mission in Mexico but has no memory of his wedding, the births of his children or any life before the accident. He functions at a level between a kindergartner and a 5th grader—able to read, care for himself and do simple tasks but incapable of supervising a child or taking initiative.

Ros had recently lost her job last summer when the ceiling in her kitchen collapsed, filling the room with debris and flooding the main floor. As Ros scrambled to quell the wave of destruction Todd sat quietly at the kitchen table eating his sandwich—  observing, but oblivious that Ros needed his help.

“That’s the sort of moment,” Ros told me, “when you want to yell and scream in anger at Todd and at God. My husband looks so competent. But he isn’t.”

So Ros is in the strange position of being a single mother– but not, a widow– but not and the head of her household—most definitely. Shortly after the accident, Ros sold her beautiful new home, the beach house in California, the motorcycles and snowmobiles… and went looking for a job.

In the scramble of working, caring for Todd and nurturing her children (now aged 24 to 10) Ros was forced to rely upon others for help and most especially to rely on God.

How do you maintain your faith?

“It’s not easy. But whenever I am spiraling into despair, someone grabs my arm and holds me until I can climb back up. I know God sends people to me— and in return I try to listen to promptings when Heavenly Father needs me to take care of others.

I am sustained by hope. I look forward to that great Millennial Day when mothers are reunited with babies, fathers with sons and when Todd is restored to me. He will be AWESOME. He will be greater than I can imagine.

My kids have often felt angry about the accident, especially during their teenage years. Sometimes people want to comfort them with the, ‘it could have been worse’ argument, but that doesn’t help them.
I appreciate the people who give my kids a break. My daughters didn’t dress modestly as teenagers .It simply wasn’t a battle I had the energy to fight. Some church leaders would get fixated on what my girls were wearing without recognizing their need to be loved ‘as is.’ My two oldest daughters no longer come to church, but when they do, I’m grateful for friends who express interest in their goals and pursuits rather than why they haven’t been at church.”

What advice do you have for women getting their education?

“I can’t say enough about this. Please go and get an education. Even if you want to pursue intellectual or artistic pursuits get a nursing degree or teaching degree first to pay the bills.  My education (or lack thereof) qualified me for jobs that pay only $12 or $13 an hour. A nursing or teaching degree would double that wage. Even if you are no longer young, go get an education (but sadly —college math is so much harder with a 50 year old brain!). You never know when you will need it.  All three of my daughters have been extremely motivated to pursue degrees primarily because of the financial struggle they’ve seen me go through. Two are nurses and one is finishing her PhD. I’m proud of my daughters and the wonderful, compassionate people they have become.”

How can we help friends and family going through times of despair?

“Everyone wants their pain acknowledged. As a friend quipped, “Just because the whole world is starving doesn’t make me any less hungry.” We’re often tempted to assure someone that their problems aren’t that bad or to “one-up” them by talking about a greater tragedy. Feelings are real, whether you are struggling with a disobedient 4 year old or an untimely death. We all need compassion on a daily basis.

If you have a prompting to help someone—follow it! A phone call is often better than a visit. When I was between jobs, I had no faith that I would find a new one. But my friends encouraged me, they believed in my ability to keep searching. Many times I have leaned upon the faith of others when my hope fails me.”

Anyone lucky enough to know Ros is among her admirers. Her faith is simple and exquisite, she complains honestly and cheerfully and has an endless well of compassion. Wholly unjudgmental, Ros provides a safe haven for anyone who is different or struggling to fit in.

She won’t like it; but I’m calling her a saint.

Tell me, who inspires you? And during these uncertain times, how do you maintain hope for yourself and others?