After publishing this series on local leadership corruption ten years ago, I came to believe I left an important element out of it - flattery. This is now rectified.

Introduction

When I was in an International Relations class at BYU as part of my major in political science, the teacher relayed a strange story I found perplexing.

We were talking about the United Nations and all the various committees and workgroups it is composed of. Our professor told us that in some of these groups all they do is get together a few times a year and make speeches about how wonderful the other members of the groups were and all the wonderful actions and activities they were doing for the group.

In reality, no one did anything at all. At the time, I found this almost unbelievable.

I no longer find it unbelievable. This is simply flattery.

What flattery is and isn't

Flattery is one of Satan's most effective tools.

The most notorious Anti-Christ's and wicked examples in the Book of Mormon are the flatterers: Nehor, Korihor, Amalickiah, etc.

Flattery is insincere praise, deceit, lying, and hypocrisy. The scriptures tell us that those who use it are highly effective in getting what they want.

That suggests people are peculiarly vulnerable to flattery. That should scare us.

Heavenly Father's prophets tell us what we need to hear, not necessarily what we want to hear. Flatterers tell us what we want to hear.

When flatterers are successful, things get turned around. People think the wicked are right and the prophets are wrong.

President James E. Faust taught:
Who has not heard and felt the enticing of the devil? His voice often sounds so reasonable and his message so easy to justify. It is an appealing, intriguing voice with dulcet tones. It is neither hard nor discordant. No one would listen to Satan’s voice if it sounded harsh or mean. If the devil’s voice were unpleasant, it would not persuade people to listen to it.
Don't you get a little puffed up when someone praises you, regardless of what they are praising you for? Don't you tend to think, "Well, they must be smart if they think so well of me."

If someone is telling you that you are wonderful are you more likely to hire them, promote them, etc.?

What if someone tells you you are doing well, your effort is good and you are on the right path?

Would you believe them? Would believing them depend on who they are and what they are doing with their life, or their possible motives for praising you? Perhaps it should.

We can't control, or perhaps entirely discern, the intent of someone who praises us. However, we can control what effect their words have on us.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught:
It is a sin to lie. It is a tragedy to be the victim of lies.
Further, he states:
We must never allow ourselves to think proper conduct and decision making are found in a convenient path somewhere between right and wrong.
In today’s world, where deceitfulness is so widely practiced in advertising, promoting, and marketing, a worthy prayer could well be, “Help me, O Lord, to be free not only of personal deceit, but grant me also the wisdom to avoid those who would damage me or mine through devious means.”
We know what the scriptures say and what inspired prophets tell us is true. We should measure any praise against this standard, not the standard that we would like.
 
Flattery is common in the Church

Flattery is very common in the Church. For example, there are a lot of references to so-and-so and what he or she did to make some event a success.

A great deal of what should be worship time in our meetings get expended in these speeches. Various people get recognized and celebrated. Those not mentioned often feel slighted or jealous of those that do.

There is nothing productive or positive in these statements. Shouldn’t we seek to build the Lord’s Kingdom, regardless of whether we get recognition for it? Shouldn’t we seek to do so anonymously as the scriptures teach? Shouldn’t we allow Heavenly Father to bless people for good acts, if blessings are warranted?

With our limited vision and understanding, should we be doing or saying these things? Shouldn’t we simply extend thanks in a private setting, if our thanks are in order? For people who want and seek this acclaim, don’t they have their reward?

Shouldn't we be showing our gratitude to God, instead of celebrating each other? Isn’t that what the scriptures teach us to do?

Self-righteousness means we are succumbing to Satan's flattery

Elder Larry E. Lawrence warned:
When there is contention in your home or workplace, immediately stop whatever you are doing and seek to make peace. It doesn’t matter who started it.

Contention often begins with faultfinding. Joseph Smith taught that “the devil flatters us that we are very righteous, when we are feeding on the faults of others.”6 When you think about it, self-righteousness is just a counterfeit for real righteousness.
Conclusion

Flattery is pervasive and common in our world. We can only be certain that we are not guilty of it ourselves, or susceptible to it's being used on us.

Keep in my Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf's statement:
Satan, our adversary, wants us to fail. He spreads lies as part of his effort to destroy our belief. He slyly suggests that the doubter, the skeptic, the cynic is sophisticated and intelligent, while those who have faith in God and His miracles are naive, blind, or brainwashed. Satan will advocate that it is cool to doubt spiritual gifts and the teachings of true prophets.
Satan wants you to fail. Heavenly Father wants you to succeed.

If you are prone to flatter, stop it right now.

Ask yourself how you respond to praise. Everyone needs to assess how they typically respond to praise/flattery and adjust their behavior accordingly.

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