I was there in Elders’ Quorum listening to the boys go over Elder Christofferson’s stuff from last conference. When an, ah, incorporeal outside but indwelling source let me know with a certain amount of friendly but divine-tinged authority that there was a tight analogy between faith in Jesus Christ and the gospel and faith in a spouse and a marriage. Same principles apply. The source left me to my own devices to trace what the analogies actually were.

Here goes:

1. The gospel may be perfect but the Church isn’t. Manage expectations. There is probably something perfect in the core of your marriage over time and over eternity. but its neither you nor your wife nor the two of you together. Or maybe the approach here is to have confidence in your marriage even though last Thursday was bad. This fight is not your marriage.

2. Doubts don’t have to be resolved just yet. It is a fine thing to put them away on the shelf. Dust them off once in awhile, take another run at them, and if you can’t fix them put them back on the shelf. What counts as doubts in marriage? Awareness of your wife or husband’s flaws?

3. Doubt is not the goal. Doubt is a transitional stage.

4. Don’t focus on the negative, don’t cherish and dwell on it. If you are constantly chasing anti allegations, you will lose what is good in the gospel. Ditto with marriage.

5. Hold on to what you know. Remember the basis of your testimony.