I've woken up both of the last two nights in so much pain I thought I would die. I haven't been able to eat anything since Sunday without throwing up and I haven't been able to sleep because of the pain.

Finally last night, as I was crying in my bed, praying for help, I realized I should get a blessing. I called out for help, and two of the guys I live with came to the rescue. In the blessing they promised me that my pain, and the sickness, would leave quickly through my faith. They left, and the pain was still there, but I felt more able to deal with it. My mind hadn't been working, and so I hadn't thought about it much... and realized that it was an intense, throbbing pain in my lower right abdomen and back - right where it should be for appendicitis. My symptoms matched almost exactly. Nausea, intense pain, vomiting, fever...

I love the people who are doctors, but I have very strong feelings about, and against, many of the western methodologies for treating illness. I didn't want to go to the hospital. On the other hand, I wanted the pain to go away. So I told the Lord that if the pain didn't go away after 5 minutes, I would go to the hospital. After about 2 minutes He told me to take some pain reliever. Ironic - I rarely take medications, so that hadn't even crossed my mind. I crawled to the medicine cabinet, pulled out two acetaminophen and ibuprofen tablets, swallowed them, and restarted the countdown. Within 10 minutes I was asleep.

Looking at the struggles I face in life, the Lord has often uses this method of teaching me. He promises me that it will work out, then makes tools available to help me succeed. Sometimes I'm dumb... And assume that everything will work out without trying every available source to fight it... but God expects me to take advantage of everything in order for Him to answer my prayers. With being attracted to guys, and not attracted to girls, it means never giving up, even if it seems like nothing is happening. I go on dates, pray for help, and live my life in the way He would want me to.

I'm still in incredible pain. But I'll be okay - both physically and spiritually. My stomach and my heart seem to be ready to burst. But the Lord has promised that the pain will go away... and whether it means that I will be strong enough to subdue it, or that it will disappear entirely, doesn't really matter. I may just need willpower, faith, and pain reliever to weather my trials as my spirit and body grow stronger. Appendicitis has been cured naturally by others through fasting, and the Lord gives me the strength to live, love, and be happy even when life hurts. I'm grateful to see His hand in my life... and for the reminder that everything in this life is just an instant in the eternities.
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