There are always a multitude of women who claim that the Church instructed them to marry young, forego any education or gainful employment, and stay at home and raise their kids.

Then, their marriage collapses, and they are forced into the cold, cruel world as a single parent with no skills or confidence.

This is nonsense. The Church never taught any such thing.

"Prioritize" Family

What we were taught was to prioritize our family, that it was the woman's responsibility to nurture the children, and that the man's responsibility was to provide and protect the family.

This same guidance was aimed at BOTH genders.

We were also told to get all the education we could, to develop our gifts, talents, and skills, and prepare for contingencies that may necessitate individual adaptation.

This same guidance was also aimed at BOTH genders.

It used to be possible for nearly all women to stay home and have their husband's job support the family. That is nearly impossible in this day and age. Most women will have to work outside the home at some point for numerous and sundry reasons.

Many of these numerous and sundry reasons have existed and been known for millennia. They include: not marrying in this life, having a husband die, having a husband disabled, experiencing a divorce, financial hardship, financially needing a second income to survive, etc.

None of this is new.

All of this got punctuated for me when my father died when I was young. My mother did have to support the family. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was unexpected. In fact, it was wrenching.

I hoped to be able to stay home and raise the kids while my husband worked, but it wasn't a given. I knew that from personal experience.

However, it was also obvious to anyone who had more than two brain cells to rub together. It was, and is, risky to assume that everything is going to be peachy and you don't need a Plan B, or C, or D, or even Plan E.

Here it comes!

I'm going to say something now that's going to make me unpopular and perhaps even a target of these women.

You can't blame Church teachings for your poor choices!

Too many women I grew up with were trying to evade education and employment by getting married. It was an acceptable way out of doing something difficult. It was even somewhat culturally and socially sanctioned. It still is. That's the problem.

Many of these women have no one to blame but themselves. However, they are trying to save face by blaming the Church.

Conclusion

We are trying to become Christlike in this life. Increasing our knowledge and skills enables us to be more Christlike. That has always been part of our canon.

In fact, it's been instruction to both women and men regardless of mortal financial circumstances. It would stand even if you are independently wealthy in this life and don't need to work to live.

There are powerful, eternal reasons for gaining education and skills in this life. It isn't just a material decision on how to financially get through this mortal one.

There are a multitude of strong, educated, competent, skilled, and powerful women in the Church. Some of them even stayed home and raised their kids.

You can still be one of them.

The Church has released six more chapters of the book Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Russell M. Nelson in addition to the four chapters published in August 2024. The book is available digitally in Gospel Library (both online and in the mobile app) in 12 languages.

The release of chapters is not in sequential order. This allows an early release of President Nelson’s teachings on specific topics. When complete, the book will  have 28 chapters.

This is the 17th manual in the series Teachings of the Presidents of the Church that was previously used as the course of study for Relief Society and Melchizedek Priesthood meetings. Although these manuals are no longer used in Sunday classes, they continue to be valuable study and reference resources.

This is the first time the Church has released a manual in this series about a living prophet. The digital format allows this manual (as well as manuals about future Church Presidents) to become a living document that can be updated as President Nelson continues his ministry.

How to Find the Manual

The manual is available in Gospel Library under Books and Lessons > Teachings of Presidents. It is currently available in Chinese Simplified, Chinese Traditional, English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish, Tagalog, and Tongan.

Want More?

To study more of President Nelson’s teachings since he became the President of the Church, including devotionals and messages given in addition to general conference talks, go to the Gospel Library app and select the Home icon at the bottom of the screen. Scroll down to the Study Plans section and search for the Messages from President Nelson study plan.

Related Articles

• 6 New Chapters of ‘Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Russell M. Nelson’ Released
• Church Digitally Publishes “Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Russell M. Nelson”

The post Instant Post-Conference Notes: Saturday Evening Session (October ’24) appeared first on Thus We See....

The Church is beginning to publish the book Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Russell M. Nelson. Four chapters of the book are now in Gospel Library in 12 languages.

This is the 17th manual in the series Teachings of the Presidents of the Church that was previously used as the course of study for Relief Society and Melchizedek Priesthood meetings. Although these manuals are no longer used in Sunday classes, they continue to be valuable study and reference resources.

This is the first time the Church has released a Teachings manual about a living prophet. The digital format allows this manual (as well as manuals about future Church Presidents) to become a living document that can be updated as President Nelson continues his ministry.

How to Find the Manual

The manual is available in Gospel Library under Books and Lessons > Teachings of Presidents. It is currently available in Chinese Simplified, Chinese Traditional, English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish, Tagalog, and Tongan.

Want More?

To study more of President Nelson’s teachings since he became the President of the Church, including devotionals and messages given in addition to general conference talks, go to the Gospel Library app and select the Home icon at the bottom of the screen. Scroll down to the Study Plans section and search for the Messages from President Nelson study plan.

Related Articles

• First Chapters of ‘Teachings of President Russell M. Nelson’ Manual Released
• 4 chapters released in new manual of teachings from President Russell M. Nelson

What do you do if there seems to be a conflict between your understanding of the gospel and what you learn through science? Is the gospel wrong? Is science wrong? Neither.

Bottom line: One day, we’ll see how everything fits together—but it might be after a lot of revelation and a lot of research. We should keep learning about science while simultaneously strengthening our faith.

Here’s a story.

Once there was a religious man who was also a scientist and professor.
“What do you do when science contradicts your beliefs?” a student asked.
The man thought for a moment, then walked to an empty chalkboard. “This board represents all truth,” he said.
In one corner, he made a small dot. “This represents what we understand about God.”
Then he walked to the opposite corner and made another dot. “This represents what we understand about science.”
He turned to the class. “I don’t worry if the two circles don’t overlap.”

President Russell M. Nelson, who is a renowned heart surgeon, once said, “There is no conflict between science and religion. Conflict only arises from an incomplete knowledge of either science or religion, or both.”

He also said “All truth is part of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether truth comes from a scientific laboratory or by revelation from the Lord, it is compatible.”

Related article:

• Science and Our Search for Truth

The Church has published the book Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Thomas S. Monson. It contains stories from President Monson’s life and ministry, as well as memorable counsel and witness on topics such as charity, rescuing those in need, the Savior’s gift of resurrection, and finding joy in life’s journey.

This book is the latest in the series of Teachings of Presidents of the Church.

The book is now available in the Gospel Library (mobile app and at ChurchofJesusChrist.org) in English, Chinese, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Russian, and Spanish.

Printed copies of the book may be ordered beginning December 15 at store.ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

Additional languages. In early November, the book will be available in the Gospel Library in the following additional languages: Albanian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, Finnish, Greek, Hungarian, Norwegian, Polish, Romanian, and Swedish. Printed copies in these languages can be ordered beginning in February 2023.

The post Instant Post-Conference Thoughts: Saturday Evening Session (October, ’21) appeared first on Thus We See....

We sometimes are asked why we have such appreciation for our Jewish friends and their faith. It is a long story but it starts with the fact that Dave’s godmother is Jewish. When, as an infant, Dave was to be baptized in the Episcopal Church, Dave’s mother, Elizabeth, insisted that his godmother be her best friend Ann Scinski. This was despite the fact that Father Ewald, the priest who baptized Dave, insisted that only a baptized and confirmed Christian could be a godparent. Elizabeth’s love of Ann and of the Jewish faith influenced Dave throughout his youth. When Dave converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (at age 19), his love and appreciation for Judaism only increased to the point that he later spent a year studying prayer book Hebrew with Cookie Cohen at Beth David Synagogue in Greensboro, North Carolina, and several months studying Torah and Talmud with Rabbi Chaim Adelman at the Orthodox Chabad House in Amherst, Massachusetts. In a class at BYU called Family in World Religions, he teaches extensively about Jewish family life.

Marriage and Family Life in Strong Jewish Families

As part of our American Families of Faith national research project, we have conducted in-depth (about 2-hour) interviews with 30 American Jewish families who rabbis had recommended to us as good examples of strong Jewish families. The families welcomed us into their homes and shared the ways that their religious beliefs and practices influenced their marriage and family lives. We are grateful to them for their generosity and their insights. 

Interviewees belonged to three main branches of Judaism:  Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox. There are important similarities yet some meaningful differences in the ways that people from the Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox branches live out their Judaism. Because many Orthodox Jews write the divine name “G-d” in order to respect the name of the Lord, we follow that practice in the direct quotes below.

Based on participant reports, Jewish rituals and traditions enabled families to celebrate times of joy and to cope with difficulty, pain, and loss. A youth named Caleb, from the Reform branch, shared how Jewish ritual helped him cope with the violent death of his uncle:

I had an uncle who was murdered. … I found comfort [in] the ritual that’s associated with death. [It] really helped me deal with the suddenness and the sadness of it. … The burial ritual, the funeral ritual, the Shiva ritual of staying at home [with family] for seven days … are things that helped me cope in the short term. And during the service … the Kaddish prayer … the prayer for memory [or] prayer for the dead, [was] very comforting for me. It’s not that I necessarily believe that there is a G-d listening to my prayers. It’s more that the comfort of doing something that I’ve done all of my life has made it comfortable and given me the space to deal with those kinds of trying situations.

Relational Strengths in Marriage

The three subthemes related to marriage include: (a) marriage is sacred, (b) ritual facilitates relational success, and (c) relational success is a duty. 

Theme 1: Marriage is sacred. A sacred and idealized view of marriage was offered by Moriah, an Orthodox wife, who expressed how sharing a religious identity with one’s spouse can enrich marriage: 

I believe that we’re supposed to try to find a partner … to share [life with] on the deepest level; [the] joyous things that life will bring us, and then the incredible challenges that will certainly come. … If you share the religious … if you have that … in common … a religious level, a spiritual level, the joys will be even more joyful and more enriching, and the really difficult times will be more bearable because you have each other.

Eli, an Orthodox husband stated, 

The purpose of marriage is to increase the holiness of human relationships. … We hope to have an emotional, intellectual, and spiritual dimension, where we help each other to try to ascend to a higher level, or at least become more what we should be.

Leah, a Conservative wife, similarly expressed how she experienced holiness in her marriage:

I have … felt, metaphorically, the hand of G-d at very pivotal moments in life. I mean, one can be together in a room and have little emotional contact, but there clearly have been times when the contact between us has been so strong and so different. I … look at those times as [experiences] when [my husband] and I were connected more than usual, and those would be the times … that we were closer to G-d and each other, and we were moving toward being more holy individuals and as a couple. I think that those times, coincidentally, some of them definitely did come as a result of religious observance …

Theme 2: Ritual facilitates relational success. Tevia, a Reform husband, explained how sharing Judaism had unified his marriage to Ruth: 

There’s a lot of stuff I think we take for granted about our relationship in terms of knowing that we’re on the same page with stuff. We don’t even need to talk about it. … We’re on the same page. … We just know that if [my wife] said, “I want to stay home this Saturday and just observe Shabbat [at home],” she knows I’m there. If she wanted to do something at the synagogue, we go. 

In response to the question, “Are there ways that your religious beliefs or practices help you to avoid or reduce marital conflict?” Asha responded, 

The first thing that comes to mind is the routine. And another thing that I’ve come to understand and believe is that religious belief and truly religious moments don’t just come from … nowhere. One has to be in the habit of religious practice and religious observance. …  If you wait for the mood to hit you, it never will. But if you go, if you observe, if you practice, on a regular … basis, then you’re open to G-d. … I think that our routine of going to synagogue every week, that it is something we do whether we really feel like it or not … it is what we chose to do. It’s about the Sabbath. It’s what you do on the Sabbath. It is such a calming experience, when tensions are high, when frustration is high …

For Israel, an Orthodox husband, “the rules” of Jewish tradition reportedly helped him and his wife avoid conflict. He explained, 

Things that might have been conflicts before aren’t even issues because we know the rules. What are we doing on Saturday? Well, that’s not an issue. Where and what are we eating? It’s not an issue. … This is the way it is. I want to go [somewhere], we look at the calendar. ‘Oh no, we can’t go here because it’s Yom Tov, it’s a holiday,” [but] it’s … okay. It’s not a conflict [between us]. These are not issues because there’s a higher authority that we all are agreed with. That’s our priority.

Theme 3:  Relational success is a duty. Tamara expressed:

 I think one of the strong points of Judaism is the sense of personal responsibility, and certainly, in any conflict we’ve had it’s been really important to own up to whatever part we have in the conflict. And that’s something that comes straight from Judaism, that thought of, “Did I do something wrong? And if so, I need to fix it, and apologize for it”—as opposed to just, “Well, it’ll go away, forget about it.” And that’s one of the things that I really admire about Jerry. He will always apologize. He will always say, “I’m wrong.”  

A Conservative husband named Asher expressed how marriage comes with a responsibility to work through difficulties and preserve the marriage “at all costs.” He shared,

[Marriage] is a sacred bond that should be upheld at all costs, if at all possible. I think from that perspective, [my wife] and I have worked a lot on [and are] continually working on the marriage—because of that [perspective]. It is not something that will come easy, so you need to continually work at it. It’s kind of like a second job … if you want it to continue [going well], you’ve got to keep on working on it.

Uriel, a Conservative husband, explained that,

The Jewish version of domestic tranquility, of amity in the home, what Jews call shalom bayis, peace in the home, is a very big concept in Jewish thinking. It is not the notion of a compliant wife who will go along with everything a guy says, and therefore they have peace. … It’s quite the opposite. They both know how to argue, they both hold their own. I think it’s precisely because we can argue that we can do well … That’s the secret.

Relational Strengths in Parenting

We now share some findings on relational strengths in parenting. The three subthemes are (a) ritual facilitates relational success, (b) relational success is a duty, and (c) God is a relational model.

Theme 1: Ritual facilitates relational success. When asked how her beliefs or practices had helped her avoid, reduce, or resolve conflict, Eija, a Reform mother, responded:

There’s a big emphasis in our services on taking responsibility for [and] forgiving other people, on praying for forgiveness for yourself, praying for healing for other people. … It take[s] you out of yourself. And it works with the kids, too, because there’s prayers that the parents say to their children. … [It’s] a nice bonding thing. … [It] relax[es] all those tensions.

Pesha, a mother, reported feeling closer with her children during weekly parent-child blessings:

Blessing the children on Friday night … is a special time when the parents bless the children. It is a beautifully wonderful and tender moment that we … do and our children have come to expect. [We don’t just] put our hands on their heads and we bless them …  we also each [say] something to each child about something that we’re proud of that they’ve done this week. It’s just a wonderful thing that … we didn’t make that up. … [I]f we just look at what our tradition teaches us, it was already there. Jewish parents have been doing that for thousands of years.

Theme 2:  Relational success is a duty. Many participants explained that high-quality parent-child relationships were not a luxury but rather a duty within Judaism. Benjamin, a 20-year-old Orthodox son; Deborah, his 17-year-old sister; Hannah, their mother; and Eli, their father, discussed this idea:

Benjamin (son): [My family] argue[s] over little things all the time, of course, like anybody. But we’ve never had any serious, emotional arguments that disrupted general family life. I’m sure that Judaism has a lot to do with that … because you have laws governing how you’re supposed to act towards your parents and towards your children. And when you have a legal system, almost, [that prescribes] in what ways you can respond, you aren’t so totally at sea, as many people are.

Deborah (daughter): On how to … interact with your parents.

Benjamin (son): And your children. It goes both ways.

Hannah (mother): [We have] mutual respect.

Eli (father): We’re very wise and loving parents. [kidding]

Benjamin (son): Yeah. . . Having … respect for your parents is something that is not generally a common trait in this society, but … it’s impossible to be Halakhically observant and not have respect for your parents. 

A similar sense of responsibility and equity shared between parents and children seemed to be important to Alexandra, a Reform mother, who reflected,

One of the things that we do regularly … when I’m wrong, [is that] I’m able to tell my daughter, “I’ve been wrong, and this is why I’ve been wrong.” And to ask her forgiveness is a really important part of Judaism. … If you have wronged another individual, you have to work out the relationship with the individual before you can get real forgiveness from G-d. [However], that’s not why I do it. … The real important part to me is that my daughter knows that I’m able to say “I’m wrong” when I’m wrong. … I teach her that.

Theme 3: God as a relational model. Moriah, a Hasidic Orthodox mother, described a Jewish book that helped her use God’s example in her parenting. She explained,

It’s a book about forgiveness and understanding and using G-d’s example. You don’t just make one mistake and G-d just turns His back on you. It’s … about forgiveness, modeling our own forgiveness and understanding and patience as parents … [after] G-d’s example. … I have thought there are things people could do that you could just never forgive them for, and I’m thinking now that that’s kind of harsh. … G-d doesn’t … do that. … I’ve enjoyed reading that [and applying it to] the relationship with our children, and how we parent.

Conclusion

Here we provided only a few examples and brief discussion of the ways that Judaism influences marriage and family life. Readers who are interested in learning more about Jewish families, as well as couples and families from various faiths, are invited to look here. Because Judaism is the “mother faith” of Christianity (and influential in Islam as well), and because Judaism is such a familial faith, Christian, Muslim, and other families can learn much from how their Jewish friends live their faith in their homes. We have a great deal of respect as well as some “holy envy” for the ways that our observant Jewish friends honor the teachings and traditions of the Torah to strengthen marriage and family life. We commend a careful study of Jewish family life to our friends of our own faith, other faiths, or no faith.

About the Authors: While we ourselves are active (devoted) members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in our work in the American Families of Faith project, we seek to highlight the strengths of our friends of various faiths. We have developed a sense of deep respect and even holy envy for these families and their faiths. Additionally, the book chapters from which these articles are adapted included two coauthors who are devoted members of those faiths.

If you like listening to audiobooks and podcasts, we have recorded a set of conversations about the families we interviewed that includes additional quotes from mothers, fathers, and youth, more of our experiences in attending their services, as well as personal experiences with friends of other faiths. These podcasts are available at:

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Podcast Republic

The post Jewish Families: How Teachings and Traditions Strengthen Marriage and Family Life appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

He’s right, of course, humans love a good metaphor. They help us expand our vision by connecting the new with the experienced. Melissa Burkely, who is both a novelist and a psychologist, wrote, “Metaphors are not just a literary technique; they are a psychological technique.”

We should expect, then, that as society moves into new conversations we will look for metaphors and analogies from the past that can help us understand what is happening in the now and what might happen in the future by comparing it to the past we are already familiar with. But because of the psychological power of these metaphors, we must be careful about which ones we regularly adopt because otherwise belaboring the similarities without fully recognizing the differences could lead us to inaccurate conclusions. After all, remember your English class definition, a metaphor is a comparison of two unlike things. Understanding the way things are unlike is often just as crucial in our public debates as understanding how they are the same.

Newly-retired Professor Richard Davis of Brigham Young University used a familiar metaphor in his recent Op-Ed to help understand a contemporary situation. Davis draws the (very) commonly made comparison between the current situation of the Latter-day Saint LGBTQ+ population and the pre-1978  situation of the black members of the Church of Jesus Christ, arguing that it’s God’s will that the Church should perform same-sex sealings just as it was God’s will that the Church should extend the priesthood to all members. I’ll leave it to others to communicate what God’s will for the Church is. You can certainly understand why Davis and others have settled on this metaphor. There are many superficial similarities between the two. But ultimately the historical analogy fails in a number of ways. I have no ill-will towards Professor Davis, but given that this argument is so popular and sows confusion among many Latter-day Saints who want to be on the Lord’s side, it is worth directly addressing. 

First, there were always Church leaders who stated publicly that the priesthood restriction would be lifted (while others said that it wouldn’t). No such statements have ever been made at the General Authority level about extirpating the Church’s heteronormativity. 

Second, race was a very incidental, very occasionally discussed aspect of Latter-day Saint theology. By comparison, issues of gender, family, and the reproductive imperative (in this life or the next) strike at the very core of Latter-day Saint notions of exaltation. Changing it would require a fundamental doctrinal overhaul in ways that the race issue simply would not. While one can mine past statements of Church leaders to find a quote here or there that implies that the former priesthood ban would continue forever or that the civil rights movement was infiltrated by communists, the Church as a whole has made a concerted effort in the past couple of decades to connect themselves to traditional notions of gender, family, and sex. No such concerted, generalized effort was ever made in regards to traditional notions of race. The conflation of the two, while providing an easy soundbite, can be offensive to traditionally religious people of color. 

There are other points that could be belabored. For example, while Professor Davis is an accomplished social scientist, his absolute sureness about what liberalizing the Church would do sounds more like a testimony than the measured thesis of a scholar, and ironically flies in the face of empirical evidence showing that more liberal denominations have the weakest retention rates. Professor Davis is welcome to believe what he wants about the future of the Church’s position on LGBTQ+ issues, but facile comparisons don’t help his case. Professor Davis is also welcome to believe what he wants about God’s will; we are expected to seek out our own confirmation of the Church’s positions, and he is to be commended for doing so, but let’s be clear, being in conflict with the Church on the issue of human sexuality is, in so many important, substantive ways, in a different category than being in conflict with its past positions on race. 

The post No Comparison Between Latter-day Saint Race and Sex Teachings appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

The post Essay #21: The Teachings of Enoch — “Thus May All Become My Sons” (Moses 6:59, 66–68) first appeared on The Interpreter Foundation.

The post Essay #20: The Teachings of Enoch — “By the Blood Ye Are Sanctified” (Moses 6:60) first appeared on The Interpreter Foundation.

The post Essay #19: The Teachings of Enoch — “By the Spirit Ye Are Justified” (Moses 6:60, 63, 65–66) first appeared on The Interpreter Foundation.