At what point is it a good thing to be a minority? Are gains from a minority position any less valid than those gained without the forced advantage? As a white woman who has grown up privileged in the suburbs and who predominantly studied theatre in college, I’ve never felt like a minority. If anything, there were always too many white girls who looked and performed just like me. All this changed about a year ago when I enrolled in business school. With only 40 percent of total applicants nationally checking the “F” box for two year MBA programs, it makes sense why women are a minority in business school. While that percentage has grown over time and schools are making a concerted effort to recruit for more qualified female students, the fact remains that most schools skew male.

Utah in particular has a gender diversity problem in business schools (which, unfortunately, should come as no surprise to those who go to school in the state). The state’s two largest business schools rank in the bottom 10 of US News’ male/female ratios. I do not regret my choice to attend business school in Utah, however, and I have benefited from the connections I have made from students of every gender in the last year. For the most part, I feel like just any other student — applying for jobs, studying for classes, and networking with friends over pizza and foosball. Every so often, however, the diversity matter pops up, whether to my detriment or benefit. In this case, it was arguably a benefit.

Even with limited experience in the tech sector, I applied to a tech firm in Utah with the hopes of interviewing for a full time position. I was elated when I found out that I had gotten one of the coveted interview slots. However, I found out that some of my more qualified (white male) classmates had been passed over for a large number of female students who, on paper at least, had limited to no directly relevant experience either in the industry, position, or both. The diversity issue faced by business schools is even more pronounced in the technology sector, which is probably why this firm was looking to interview more women.

I ended up passing on the interview (for a variety of reasons that had nothing to do with my gender), but I keep thinking about the effects of diversity hiring. I don’t want to discredit the other women who ended up hiring. The HR representative could have been more concerned with something else (cultural fit, unconventional backgrounds, etc.) rather than direct experience. But I can’t feeling like the game was rigged. Part of me is grateful for the rising change that is happening in business (and the world at large). Women are fighting to be heard and fighting for representation. There are both male and female advocates for a more pronounced female presence and companies are looking to balance out their employee pool. I am excited to live in a time where women are given more opportunities to lead and contribute. Personally, however, I want to be sure I merit whatever achievements I gain. I want to get a job because I am qualified for the position and whoever hires me believes I can excel in the position. I don’t want to get a free pass because I happen to have ovaries.

Should there be two applicants, each equally qualified and suitable for the position, and one happens to be female, then a company with skewed gender ratios should hire the woman. There is a dearth of female leadership in corporate America and that won’t change unless women are hired. I agree with all that. But from my experience, I don’t want my gender to be treated like a handicap. Maybe this is the competitive side of me coming out — the part that insists on fairness at the expense of kid gloves and preferential treatment. But if I were hired knowing that other applicants were turned away only on the basis of gender, I would second guess my performance in the position. It would feel like ill-gotten gains.

Am I alone in this sentiment? Does mishandled diversity hiring rig the game, or is all fair in the interest of gender equality?