Recently, I talked with a friend about her 19 year old daughter Kate who just departed on a mission to Mesa, AZ.  I know Kate well. When it was time for girls’ camp everyone wanted Kate in her tent, every newly called Mia Maid or Laurel’s president wanted Kate as her counselor, when Kate sat down each chair around her filled in moments. With her easy laugh, fresh faced beauty and complete lack of pretensions, Kate brought a flood of light when she entered a room.

“From the time she was a toddler,” her mother told me, “Kate’s possessed an amazing self-confidence. Because Kate knows she’s a daughter of God, she recognizes everyone else as a child of God. She never worries about herself, Kate always thinks about other people.”

I’ve been thinking about Kate and her mother’s words all summer. I’ve also been immersed in a biography of Winston Churchill: The Last Lion by William Manchester. With three volumes and nearly 132 hours on Audible, it’s taken up a fair amount of my brain space (I’d also like to note it’s so completely fascinating and well written, I listened to almost every chapter twice just to absorb all the details).

You’ve probably heard Churchill had a pretty rough life. Unwanted by his parents, taunted by his schoolmates, he suffered failure after failure well into adulthood. Even at the age of sixty-five (just before becoming Prime Minister), Churchill was largely considered a washout by his peers.

Through his many failures– and some were huge, like the unjust blame he took for 200,000 deaths at Gallipoli– and no matter how much the press disparaged him and his friends walked away, Churchill possessed an unshakable knowledge of his own worth. With that conviction, he saved the western world.

Now, I’m sure some of you don’t adore Churchill the way I do and I certainly don’t want to spark a historical or political debate here. I do want to discuss that confidence, self-assurance, FAITH that allows us to act as God’s instrument. I’m not talking about arrogance or braggadocio. We all know those tendencies stem from insecurity– not God-given conviction.

God Needs a Powerful People. But so many of us (myself included) shrink with feelings of insecurity. I know I can do more good when I stop beating myself up, but how?

Again from Kate’s mother: “Kate was born with her gift. But I think each one of us can seek out our Heavenly Father and learn of His love for us. If we feel loved, if we can stop trying to prove our worth, we can extend that love to other people.”

OK, step 1. Seek out our Father in Heaven and learn of His love. It’s that simple. If we can truly understand God’s love for each of us we will be able to extend it to each of his children. I’m not always so great at feeling God’s love– which is kind of embarrassing to admit publicly– so let’s talk about some more ideas (and I hope you’ll add more in the comments.

2. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. The more I count my blessings the better I become at recognizing God’s love for me and both celebrating and mourning with others.

3. Listen to great leaders. I have a handful of talks I listen to over and over. You Matter to Him, Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence, The Transforming Power of Faith and Character, You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory

4. Fake it till you make it. I call this the ‘Elaine Dalton trick.’ When I go places where I know I need to talk to a lot of people and much is required of me I pretend I’m Elaine Dalton. Elaine doesn’t worry if she’s wearing the right thing or if people like her– she just pours out love to everyone she meets. Now, I imagine there are plenty of times when Elaine Dalton doesn’t feel like Elaine Dalton, but you get the idea.

5. Fix it and forget it. Ah, this axiom applies to so many situations. Especially those that plague women’s lives. If you’ve made a mistake, or hurt someone’s feelings, do everything you can to fix it. Then let it go. Beating ourselves up for past mistakes doesn’t help anyone (just make sure you really fix it). Also, FIAFI is the best grooming tip around. Fix yourself up in the morning and forget it. If we spend too much time looking in the mirror we’ll miss all the good work God needs us to do.

6. Read the scriptures and write down your impressions. No other habit has strengthened me more than consistent scripture study– especially when I write in the margins or scribble in a journal. I know this. Still, I struggle to carve out the time every single day.

I’d love to read your thoughts on this topic. How do you cultivate your self-worth? Do you use those convictions to bless others? How can we balance humility and confidence? Who wants to talk about meekness?