A friend of mine put this on her Instagram feed yesterday. These sorts of things get posted all the time on social media; all these statements saying that we just don’t have space in our lives for people whom we don’t like. Or who tax us in some way. While I totally get where these statements are coming from—nobody wants to be sucked dry by negativity—I’ve been thinking about this lately and I can’t say that I agree. The more I think about it, actually, the angrier I feel.

What does this even mean, “meaningless friendships” or “unnecessary conversations”? Does this mean that I will no longer listen when I ask a semi-stranger in passing how they are doing and they actually tell me the truth? Or maybe I just won’t ask anyone how they’re doing, because that probably comes under the category of “forced interactions”.

I will not pretend to be interested in the cashier at the grocery store when she tells me how excited she is to see her grandson next weekend. I will also not be Visiting Teaching anymore because that pretty much counts as meaningless friendships, right?

Here’s how humanity works: we are nice to people. We listen to each other. We care. Sometimes we pretend to care more than we really do. That’s how it works when you are a loving person. As followers of Christ we have made a covenant to love. When people love, they listen. They ask questions. Do I actually care what game my kids played at recess? Nope. I truly don’t care at all whether it was Freeze Tag or TV Tag. But I love them and I want to have a relationship with them. And that means communication. It means asking and probing and listening.

What is wrong with us as a culture where we feel like communication is a huge soul-sucking burden unless it’s fun and exciting? Sometimes I get told some really boring stories by dull people and I honestly don’t care about what they’re telling me. But part of showing love is to listen. Everyone wants to be listened to. And here is the crazy thing: when you listen and communicate with someone enough, you get to know them. And you quite often learn to love them. Even boring people. And prickly people. And dysfunctional people.

Am I so selfish that I can’t possibly have one more “unnecessary conversation”? Maybe the words I speak during an “unnecessary conversation” are just what someone needed to hear. Am I so busy re-posting Ted talks on Facebook that I can’t listen to my neighbor talk about her sadness that her son rarely comes to visit anymore? If I have friendships that feel “meaningless”, shouldn’t I be trying to change that?

How about this: how about striving to get to know everyone that I meet a little bit better? How about asking meaningful questions of the people I see during my day and listening to their answers? How about treating everyone I meet like they are a worthwhile person that has something to offer the world? How about making my relationships that feel forced into an opportunity to make someone feel special and cared for?

That’s the kind of meme I want to see on Facebook.