I wore purple eating disorder awareness week

On two different days this week, I wore purple. I don’t usually do things like this, so I wanted to write why I did.

First, read this post.

I wore purple to celebrate brave women like  TC who are talking about the struggles they have, and who are strengthening others through such vulnerability.  

I wore purple because I struggled with an eating disorder for over a decade of my life. I have touched on that here in other places (and I also found out that an essay I wrote about my experience got published in a book).

But I also wore purple because I think an awful lot of women struggle with what TC wrote about — the core of what eating disorders are often about. We don’t need to have an eating disorder or end up in the hospital or an inpatient facility to have this be a REAL and devastating illness amongst us as women. (I know men struggle, too, but I do think that this struggle runs deep with women.)

TC writes:

“I spent a lot of time listening and learning about how so many dynamic, smart, happy, lovely, fun, beautiful women ended up with eating disorders that were drastically affecting their lives.  In my experience, the universal problem was that we all trusted lies.  Every single one of us, on some level, believed lies.

 ”The lies I trusted had a lot to do with being worthy.  I absolutely believed that I was unworthy… of everything.  I was unworthy of God, of love, my family, my friends, my children, my marriage… everything!  I believed that I could and would never be worthy, that nothing and no one could possibly EVER love me, simply because I was unlovable, I was unworthy of love.  And I believed this with all of my heart.  To me, this was reality. “
I wore purple because I know so many “dynamic, smart, happy, lovely, fun, beautiful women” who struggle against these lies, too. 
I wore purple because I want to add my voice to women who are challenging these lies within themselves and with each other.
I wore purple because I have struggled against these lies all my life (even before my eating disorder hit). It’s a key reason why I attend 12-step meetings (you don’t have to have a “typical” addiction to attend them!) Through these meetings, coupled with the deep faith and testimony I have, and with the support of an angel therapist and angel friends, I’m learning to recognize the patterns of faulty beliefs in my head, and am learning to practice believing truth.
I wore purple because I believe in the power of truth! I have experienced (and continue to experience) the amazing healing power of believing the truth that President Monson shared in our General Relief Society Meeting last fall:
My dear sisters, your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.
To any of you who struggle with feeling less than, not enough, and unloved, I wore purple for you. I know words alone cannot fill that void, but I hope you can know you are not alone in your struggles, and hope you will reach out and ask for help from God and those you can trust to be able to start to see and replace those lies in your head. If you need to, find a counselor or a support group. Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out and with others, come to believe the truth.
And wear purple!


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