Elementary school can be a tough gig.
Early in September, my little Mary sobbed into my arms, “Alice told everyone not to play with me at recess. She says I’m mean.”
“And what did you do?” I asked, my mother heart constricting.
“I just walked away,” little Mary replied, “and found some friends who like me.”
Hugging my little sprite, I told her, “Walk away every time. No matter what Alice says, don’t get mad, because then you’ll turn into a mean girl.”
Now, I know my Mary isn’t perfect. I’ve seen her boss her friends while playing tea party or fight about who get to wear the favorite princess dress, but in general she makes friends easily and is adored to an almost obnoxious degree by her school and primary teachers.
As an adult, it’s easy to see the wisdom of turning the other cheek on the playground. If Mary responds to Alice’s taunts, she validates the accusations. Walking away is the wisest recourse. Over the past months I’ve asked Mary often about the ‘Alice situation.’ Mary continues to keep her resolve and ignore the taunts. And I’ve seen in Mary a new sweetness and increased compassion as she’s comforted other girls on the playground and beyond.
Observing Mary has given me a renewed understanding of our Saviour’s advice to “whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” I once believed it was for the other person (and wondered why they could get away with doing whatever they want); I now understand Christ wants me to turn away for my sake– so that I don’t turn into that mean girl.
Alice will grow up or move away, she won’t be part of Mary’s life forever, but Mary’s character and disposition is formed every moment, by every choice she makes. I too, want to form a Christlike disposition with every choice, every moment.
Please know, I am not saying this lightly, I have been hurt (and will continue to be hurt until he dies) by someone who should have protected me. No letter I write, no three hour phone call, no ranting and raving will change his behavior- I can only change mine. Reacting to his abuses will only canker my soul.
I believe in Christ. I believe God will set things right in His time.
And oh how I await that glorious resurrection day.
Have you been strengthened by turning the other cheek?
Have you worried that someone’s abuses might destroy your soul?
Does your heart break when your children come home in tears (silly question!)?
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