I kind of don’t like the start of a New Year. It seems so open, so white, so overwhelming. I’m more of a baby step person. I like the idea of taking things a bit at a time. Which is why I dislike New Year’s resolutions. Most years I don’t even bother because I flop somewhere between January 2nd and the 15th. This last year, though, I discovered something incredible; something that probably everyone except me has already learned: The Lord will help us keep our goals. I mean, I’ve heard people say that with God, nothing is impossible. I’ve heard that a million times. And it’s not like I didn’t believe it. I just never really noticed how it worked in my life.
There was that one time I prayed when I was ten years old with every ounce of belief in my body that Heavenly Father would make me magic like Samantha on Bewitched. Surprisingly that prayer wasn’t answered. Since then I just got the idea that Heavenly Father wants us to muddle through the best we can and pray for help when we need a little extra boost.
Earlier this year I need some help overcoming some emotional issues. Issues that there would be no way to resolve except through sheer willpower. I am not the best when it comes to willpower. Like, I have none. It got bad enough that I knew I needed major help. My own strength was getting me nowhere. I needed something more: power, might, determination.
We Mormons sometimes have an almost strident need to differentiate ourselves from out Protestant brothers and sisters. I grew up hearing “the Lord helps those who helps themselves”. Our church is very “work, work, work”. But Grace—the gift and acceptance of the Lord’s power—is not discussed as much. Maybe it’s just supposed to be understood. But I kind of missed the boat on that one.
I needed power. More power than I could ever hope to have. I prayed. And begged. And pleaded. And hoped.
It worked! The Lord helped! I know this seems really “duh” to a lot of people. But as a super self-sufficient person, this was new to me.
In the past my pleas for help have been more like footnotes at the end of weak and lame prayers. The humility—the knowledge that I simply could not do it alone—was completely missing. But isn’t it so great that eventually our problems will be too overwhelming for us to handle alone? Isn’t it so wonderful that the Lord makes sure we have an opportunity to finally get smacked down enough to really, really, really need Him?
Okay, so I’m being a little sarcastic. But I’ve always resisted the need to ask the Lord for help. I thought I should always try to be strong enough on my own. And now that I have actually, truly asked, I am amazed and humbled even more. He has been there all along and, stupid me, I just didn’t get it.
Four days ago I set some goals. Not impossible ones. But hard ones. This year I am not afraid of failing. Maybe I will. The year is still wide-open and slightly overwhelming. But I know that I have someone mighty who will be helping. If I cling to the Lord and stay close to Him, I will have His power behind me.
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