I’ve never had much of a ‘bucket list’, but there is one major accomplishment that has been a goal of mine for as long as I can remember: I wanted to be on the game show Jeopardy! I started reading at a young age and I have loved learning ever since. In high school I competed on the Knowledge Bowl team, and after that I got to spend three years travelling the country to compete as a member of BYU’s College Bowl team. I’ve watched Jeopardy! for years and tried out for the show four different times. Earlier this year, in March, I went to my fourth try-out. I answered questions and chatted with the contestant coordinators, hoping that I could stand out above all the other hopefuls in the room. This time my efforts paid off; in July I got the phone call I’d been expecting: I was invited to compete on the show at the end of August.
I spent the two months between my phone call and my taping date busily preparing for the show. I taped episodes and practiced clicking in with a ballpoint pen before answering. I reviewed lists of facts: world capitals, U.S. state capitals, the periodic table, presidents of the United States, and so on. I had been watching the show for years and I knew I could be the next multi-game champion. Although I tried not to think too much about the money, I daydreamed about what I might do with the thousands of dollars I knew I was going to win on the show.
And yet, when it came down to the actual taping, things did not go like I had envisioned. The entire experience was wonderful. Everyone who works for the show is friendly , enthusiastic, and treats the contestants like they are all superstars. To my surprise, I wasn’t nervous at all. I even answered a lot of questions correctly. But, I ended up walking away with third place after competing against two other players who were just as prepared as I was and who, unlike me, actually knew something about pop music from the 1970s. I was still mostly satisfied with the entire experience, and yet a little bewildered that it didn’t turn out like I had pictured it in my head.
As I think about this ‘once in a lifetime’ moment, the thing I keep coming back to is my oldest daughter’s birth. I had been born at home and grew up with the idea that birth is a powerful, spiritual experience that is best done with as little intervention as possible. I knew that was what I wanted and that was what I expected to do. Soon after getting a positive pregnancy test, I found a midwife, began reading books about unmedicated birth, and started preparing myself for what I hoped to be a high point in my life. However, as my pregnancy progressed, we discovered that my body had some quirks that would prevent me from achieving my dream. My daughter was born by c-section, and I have now had three children without ever going through labor to get them here. Each of their births was a ‘once in a lifetime’ moment for me, but not in the way I had once hoped.
We all have moments in life that are special and will never be repeated. Sometimes I am so focused on that specialness that I let my expectations get in the way of my enjoyment of what actually happens. Too often I spend my time focusing on how I wanted things to be, rather than accepting how they are. I’ve resolved to start being more open to what life throws at me and to enjoy the moments, no matter how they turn out. I’ve also decided to start watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? so I can try out in a few years.
What ‘once in a lifetime’ moments have you had? Did they turn out like you expected? What do you do in order to still enjoy them even when they don’t go as planned?
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