Tevya Washburn at Mormon Lifehacker put up an awesome post: Share the Joy of Successes to Strengthen Relationships.

Tevya discussed just how important it is to care. It got me thinking.

Obligatory Mission Story:

One day a beloved Assistant tot he President called and asked if he could take me out on exchanges; he’d been unable to do any tracting in weeks and missed it. I thought he was nuts, but agreed to go with him.

Serving in the Bible Belt, knocking on doors usually resulted in polite dismissal at best and at worst, verbal conflicts. The worst happened far more often than you’d think. The Elder drove us out to a small podunk town and we began knocking on doors. The first door, somebody answered and we had a long and sincere conversation. Although they were not interested in our church, they informed us about most of their neighbors and pointed us to those who needed a good does of Jesus.

The next door was opened by an older woman, and her connection with this missionary seemed as though they were long-lost friends reuniting. She seemed caught in his eyes and fully absorbing everything he said. She expressed gratitude for our message and arranged for another visit at a better time. This meeting was repeated door after door to teenagers, old men with canes, and stressed-out stay-at-home moms. It was incredible. Every door opened, and every person showed us great appreciation.

It bothered me all the way home that this had happened. How was it possible?! This missionary hadn’t done anything different from me that I could discern, and yet, he was received in a way I’d never seen. Pulling into the parking lot at his apartment he asked if I had any questions.

“How do you get people to talk to you like that?”

He smiled, and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. It was almost as if he had wanted me to ask that questions the whole time.

“When people know you love them, they will want to listen to you.”

I thought of all the excuses and self defenses you’d expect. So I don’t love the people?! So, I’ve gone a whole year plus of missionary work without caring about the people? You’re saying you’re better than me?!

Those thoughts were quickly brushed from my mind because of my realization of the fear I had for really putting my heart out there for these strangers to break. I wasn’t willing to risk it, and by that I could see that maybe I really didn’t love them as much as I had supposed.

That moment changed my church service forever. I had to make a choice that I was going to be open in expressing my love and that I was going to earnestly seek that charity I saw in this elder.