2 Nephi 26:32
And again, the Lord God hath commanded…that they should not contend one with another.
My husband and I were raised in two different homes. That’s ridiculous, you say, we were all raised in different homes otherwise that would be kind of creepy. No, but really, on both philosophical and practical levels, our upbringings were very, very different.
I don’t want to talk too much about what his experience was like, mostly because I have only a small understanding of what happened, and also because it’s not my story to tell. I will say that I live near my family and we truly enjoy each other. Although we’re gradually scattering across the country and we don’t see as much of one another as we used to, spending time together is full of laughter, fun, intellectual challenges, happy debates, and the understanding that love brings. I look back on my upbringing, and even though there were challenges and tight times, handmade clothes and knock-off Cabbage Patch dolls, we were raised with love and with a firm gospel foundation. This is not my husband’s experience.
When we had our first child, he used to joke that we had a good example and an example of what not do to as parents. I remember watching a home video of his father getting his two sons to fight each other. Two young children, probably no more than 4 or 6, baited into throwing punches at each other. It made me upset and provided a small window into what else may have happened in their home.
When our second son was born, a scripture came into my mind: 2 Nephi 26:32. I heard, almost as clear as day, that I should not allow my children to contend one with another. I hear it repeated in my mind often as I try to raise these precious souls; it is my single-most driving parental objective.
Do my children contend with each other? Of course they do, it’s what siblings do. However, I try my best to quell the contention as quickly and thoroughly as possible. “You are each other’s best friends,” I tell them, “Long after other friends come and go, you will have your brother. It’s your job to be friends. You protect each other, stand up for each other, you’re best friends.” Sometimes it works. Sometimes we have some work to do. The pay off comes when I see them holding hands, working and playing together, or simply enjoying each other’s company.
I think most parents have a guiding scrap of scripture that informs the way they parent their children. The Spirit speaks to parents specifically about how to help their children grow and be happy. I know that for our family, focusing on keeping contention absent is what will work.
Do you have a scripture that keeps your parenting focused?
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