Southern Virginia University has an intriguing little calender on their website: Typical Ups and Downs of College Life.
For your reading pleasure– February:
* Feelings of claustrophobia and depression set in with winter
* Potential increase in alcohol and other substance abuse
* Challenges with love relationship at home
* Valentine’s Day brings out loneliness, isolation
Do you even want to read March?
* Anxiety regarding finding roommates for next year
* Excitement and/or disappointment regarding spring break plans
* Midterm exam stress
* Concern over summer employment
* Concern over winter weight gain
As I perused the list with my oldest son and laughed at the tragi-comedic (yet accurate) outline, I thought how comforting it would be for a struggling freshman to read it and sigh with relief– “It’s OK, I’m normal.”
And I mused how useful it would be to have a similar list for every stage of life– first job, dating, first year of marriage (and 2nd and 3rd and …), navigating a divorce, mourning a loved one, etc. Somehow our life paths don’t seem quite as difficult when we know that we’re normal, that others have trod the same ground.
My friend Missy told me of hiking with her dad when she was 8 years old. The hike was easy and fun for the first few miles, but as the elevation increased and Missy’s energy wore down she struggled for breath and fought to keep up with her father. Convinced that something was truly wrong with her body she called to her dad, “I can’t do it. You go on. I’ll wait here.”
Her father stopped, sat her down and gently explained, “You’re OK. We’re higher on the mountain now and the air is thinner. You have to take deep breaths and I need to slow down and walk slowly with you. You’re going to make it. You’re going to be fine. This is normal.”
For Missy, those words made all the difference– there wasn’t anything wrong with her; it’s normal to struggle when you are not getting enough oxygen.
Throughout my life, I’ve turned to friends and acquaintances and sometimes the lady next me in the doctor’s office for advice. With few exceptions, I’ve always found someone who said, “I feel exactly the same way.” “Me too.” “Oh, let me tell you about when I went through that.”
And then I breathe a sigh of relief, “I’ll pull through. This is normal.”
What are some challenges in life that you’d like an outline for?
Who do you turn to for advice?
How has the internet affected your perception of ‘normal’?
Have you had experiences where you thought you were completely alone and then found someone who made you feel ‘normal’?
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